


Surprises

by adrianna_m_scovill



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Birthday Presents, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, i don't know how to tag this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 13:02:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17725691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adrianna_m_scovill/pseuds/adrianna_m_scovill
Summary: Carisi doesn't always make the best decisions, but Barba loves him anyway.





	Surprises

Carisi closed the door behind the delivery guys. “I’m glad they got done in time,” he said, glancing at his watch as he turned. “We still have half an—What?” he asked, catching sight of the matching smirks pointed at him.

Benson raised her eyebrows and lifted a defensive hand. “Nothing,” she said. She and Rollins were sitting at the table, Rollins with Billie in her arms as she finished nursing the baby.

“Well?” Carisi asked, crossing his arms and scowling at the detective.

“I _still_ can’t believe you bought your boyfriend a washer and dryer for his birthday.”

“Especially when he already had a perfectly good set,” Benson added, pointing a finger toward the door where the delivery/installation people had recently departed with the old appliances.

“This isn’t just _any_ washer and dryer,” Carisi said, uncrossing his arms so he could gesture toward the laundry room. “It’s the—”

“Alright, alright, we don’t need the spiel again,” Rollins laughed. “We get it, they’re huge.” She glanced at Benson. “Everyone has their kink, I guess,” she added.

To her credit, the lieutenant didn’t laugh—although she did grin at Carisi, and he couldn’t help thinking that she and Rollins knew entirely too much about his relationship with Barba. He couldn’t keep secrets from Rollins, and Barba seemed to tell Benson everything.

“I don’t even know how they fit in that room,” Rollins said.

“I measured first,” Carisi answered.

“How’d you af _ford_ them?” Rollins asked. “Those things can’t be cheap.”

“I, uh…spend a lot less money now,” Carisi said, and he could feel a telltale heat creeping into his cheeks.

“Now that you have a sugar daddy?” Rollins quipped.

“Hey, I earn my keep,” Carisi objected. “Raf’s just generous—”

“That’s what every pretty side-piece says,” Rollins interrupted.

“ _Side_ -piece?” Carisi repeated, his voice going up. “I’m the goddamn _centerpiece_.” He hadn’t meant it to be funny, not really, and he suppressed a sigh when they both laughed. He glanced toward the living room, where Jesse and Noah were playing, to make sure they hadn’t heard him.

“I happen to know what the current salary of an ADA is running,” Benson said. “And it’s not far off from yours.”

“Yeah, well. What can I say? Money’s just one of the things he’s good at handling.” He and the lieutenant grinned at each other. He couldn’t stay mad. Barba would be home soon, and Carisi knew that he’d be happy about the new appliances. Barba _loved_ his damned king-size comforters but _hated_ having to go to a laundromat to wash them. In fact, before Carisi had moved in, Barba had actually paid someone to wash the bedding for him. Carisi had been—rightly, he still believed—horrified by this discovery and had put a _prompt_ end to it.

“Alright,” Rollins said, pushing to her feet and handing Billie to Benson. “Let’s go check this shit out.”

Carisi frowned, hurrying after her as she headed toward the laundry room. “Don’t get fingerprints on ‘em,” he said.

Rollins looked over her shoulder to make sure he saw her rolling her eyes. “You think those guys didn’t leave—”

“I’m gonna polish—never mind,” he muttered, following her.

“Do you have a big bow, too?” Rollins asked.

He didn’t answer, which was all the answer she needed. Before she could roll her eyes right out of her skull, Noah and Jesse ran over to Carisi’s side, and he smiled, patting them lightly on their heads.

“Can we have cake yet?” Jesse asked.

“Not until Uncle Rafael gets here,” Rollins said. She was standing in the laundry room, hands on her hips, staring at the enormous and shiny new set of appliances. “There’s barely room left in here to fold.”

“I fold in the bedroom,” Carisi said. She gave him a look, and he was only spared the accompanying comment because the kids were standing beside him.

“Uncle Sonny, can we have cake?” Jesse asked, looking up at him. She smiled sweetly, and she knew damn well that Carisi could never refuse that look.

Rollins knew it, too. “Hey,” she said, pointing at her daughter. “First of all, he does not outrank me, and secondly, don’t you think Barba should be here for the cutting of his own birthday cake?”

Jesse sighed, rolling her eyes, and Carisi couldn’t help but laugh. She was the spitting image of her mother, sometimes, and she was going to give Rollins a hell of a time as a teenager. Carisi would relish every moment.

“Fine,” the girl said. She looked at the washer and dryer. “Can we crawl inside?” she asked.

“No,” Rollins said.

Carisi looked at the kids. “It’s dangerous to crawl inside stuff,” he explained. “You don’t ever wanna play inside something like that, when the door or lid could get stuck and trap you inside—”

“For crying out loud, Carisi,” Rollins said, pushing at his arm.

“Me and Noah could both fit in there,” Jesse said, eyeing the dryer as though she hadn’t heard either adult. She glanced at her mother. “Even you could fit,” she said. She looked at Carisi, her gaze skimming down the length of his body, and her nose wrinkled. “I don’t think you could,” she proclaimed.

“It’s bigger than it looks,” he said before he could stop himself.

Again, Rollins skipped the easy joke for the sake of little ears, and said instead, “Are you trying to sell her a dryer? Just because some salesman convinced you—”

“I did research,” he objected. “And I’m just sayin’ that based on the measurements—”

“Look, maybe if you were in pieces, you would fit,” she laughed, “but you have bones—extra long, gangly bones, and unless you’re a secret contortionist—”

“I hear he’s pretty flexible,” Benson called from the other room, apparently unable to stop herself.

“I wanna see, Uncle Sonny,” Jesse said.

“Me, too!” Noah agreed.

Carisi was flustered. “No, I’m not—I’m just saying—”

“ _Please_ ,” Jesse said.

“There’s no way,” Rollins told him, and the challenge in her smile was unmissable.

“I could. I can,” Carisi answered with a frown.

“Nope,” Rollins said.

Carisi looked at the dryer and glanced at his watch. Rollins grinned.

 

*       *       *

 

Barba walked into his apartment to find Benson pacing the kitchen, rocking Billie to sleep in her arms. He smiled, crossing over to kiss the baby’s head. "Hello."

“Happy birthday. You look tired,” Benson said.

“Thanks,” he laughed. “Where is everyone?”

Before she could answer, Barba heard Carisi’s voice from deeper in the apartment: “Is that Raf?” Then, a moment later, “Don’t let him—Shit.” There were several thuds and thunks and muttered curses, and the sound of Rollins laughing.

Jesse and Noah came running, calling, “Hi, Uncle Rafa!” in unison.

Barba looked at Benson as he bent to gather the kids into a quick hug. His eyes narrowed at the sight of her sheepish smile. “What are they doing?” he asked.

“Uncle Sonny’s stuck,” Jesse offered.

“Stuck?” Barba repeated, straightening.

“It’s fine, don’t come in here yet, it’s not ready!” Carisi called, having clearly heard Jesse.

Barba arched an eyebrow at the lieutenant. “Should I listen?” he asked.

“Probably not this time,” she said.

Barba sighed, turning toward the sound of Carisi’s voice. The kids flanked him, looking at each other and giggling. At least Carisi didn’t seem to be in imminent danger, or Benson wouldn’t be so unconcerned, but Barba couldn’t imagine how Carisi could be _stuck_ —

He stepped into the laundry room doorway, took in the scene in a moment, and froze. He opened his mouth and promptly closed it again, rendered utterly speechless.

“Shit,” Carisi muttered. “It was s’posed to be a surprise.”

He was inside the dryer. _All the way inside_ the fucking _dryer_ , folded into thirds, his knees bent up near his chin. Rollins was holding out her phone, taking pictures, but her hands were shaking as she laughed.

“He actually did it,” she told Barba, shaking her head. “He actually managed to get—”

“What the _fuck_?” Barba finally managed. The kids giggled, and he grimaced, casting them a quick glance before leveling a glare on Rollins. “This is your fault,” he said.

“Wait, wait, here’s the best part,” she said. She shoved her phone in her pocket and bent forward, grabbing the edge of the dryer drum.

“Amanda, damn it—” Carisi said, but she’d already started to turn it. Carisi put a hand above his head and one against the back of the dryer, but she only turned the drum a couple of inches before relenting. Carisi shifted himself as upright as he could get, his neck bent as he looked out at them.

“And if he ever gives you a hard time about trying new positions—”

“Get out,” Barba said.

“I’m trying,” Carisi said. “I can’t get my leg—”

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Barba said. He looked at Rollins. “You two are grounded. No more socializing outside of work for—” He glanced at Carisi, and a muscle in his jaw twitched. “Two weeks.”

“No playdates?” she joked.

“Exactly. How long has he been stuck?”

“Oh, it’s only been a couple of minutes.”

“You need to leave,” Barba said, doing his best not to swear again.

“We’re supposed to have cake,” she laughed. “You wanna disappoint the kids?”

“Take the cake, take the cake and go,” he said, making a shooing gesture with his hand.

She laughed again. “Please, you’d never be mad enough to give up a chance at _cake_.”

He lowered his chin and cocked an eyebrow, glaring at her. “Do you really think he didn’t make me a second cake?” he asked, and Rollins blinked in surprise.

She looked into the dryer. “Seriously? You baked two cakes?”

“I told you I earn my keep,” Carisi said, grinning out at her, and Rollins snorted laughter.

“What the hell does—Never mind, I don’t want to know,” Barba said. He held out an arm, herding a laughing Rollins out of the room. He paused and scooped up Jesse, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek and a tickle at her ribs. “Thank you for visiting, _corazón_ ,” he said, smiling at her when she squirmed and giggled. “Enjoy the cake, don’t share with your mother,” he said, giving Rollins a dirty look as he set the girl down.

Rollins rolled her eyes and started toward the kitchen.

Barba bent and kissed Noah’s head before ruffling the boy’s hair. “See you later, _nene_ ,” he said. “Thank you for coming.” He watched the kids run off toward their mothers. Benson had already fastened Billie into her seat and gathered up their stuff.

“You better go after Rollins,” Carisi said. “She’s gonna try to find your cake.”

“Liv won’t let her steal my cake,” Barba answered, turning back into the laundry room. He looked in at Carisi and sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t feel remotely sorry for you,” he said. “In fact, I should leave you there.”

“Yeah, prolly,” Carisi answered with a crooked smile.

Barba’s lips quirked for a moment, but he scrubbed a hand over his face in agitation. “Seriously, Sonny, _how_ …” They heard the front door close, and Barba knew that Benson had corralled everyone out as quickly as possible. He was grateful—as much as he loved them all, he was glad they were gone. Now he had to figure out how to get his boyfriend out of the ridiculously large dryer that had somehow materialized in their apartment.

“I can’t…quite…bend my leg far enough to get my foot over the lip,” Carisi said, pushing his knee against the back of the drum as he tried to flex the other foot far enough to reach the edge of the round opening. He was close, and his frustration was evident. “If you can just pull my foot back—”

“Come out headfirst,” Barba said.

“I…” Carisi eyed the portal skeptically. “I crawled in headfirst, so I should be—”

“Sonny. Lean your head over here.”

Carisi pressed his lips together and grabbed the bottom edge of the opening with one hand, ducking his head. He leaned his shoulder against the edge of the drum and Barba reached a hand into the dryer, putting his palm on Carisi’s head. The back of Barba’s hand scraped the top of the opening as he carefully guided Carisi’s head out.

“Okay, this arm,” Barba said, using his other hand to take hold of Carisi’s wrist to gently straighten his arm until his shoulder slid free. “Jesus Christ, it’s like helping a horse give birth,” he muttered.

Carisi laughed. “How do you know?”

“Please, all that Animal Planet you’ve made me watch?”

Carisi put his hand on Barba’s thigh to steady himself as he tried to twist his upper body through the opening. He winced at the twinge in his back and flattened his other hand against the inside of the dryer to push. “I’m not as young as I used to be,” he lamented.

Barba smiled; he was still holding Carisi’s shoulder, but he didn’t pull. “Easy, babe,” he murmured. “Slow and easy, don’t snap your legs off or anything.”

“Hey, Raf,” Carisi said, glancing up at his face, “you want a blowjob while I’m right here?”

Barba laughed. “You know how I feel about neck safety,” he said, and Carisi grinned. “Come on, other shoulder out.”

“I’m stuck.”

“I’m aware.”

“No, I mean—”

“You can do it, we’re almost there. Turn your back to me, put both hands up on top.”

“You’re gonna pull me out?”

“I am.”

“You gonna drop me?”

“I’ll think about it,” Barba said, grabbing Carisi under the arms as the younger man turned his upper body. “One, two, three—” He pulled, and Carisi swore as his legs were momentarily bent at a painful angle. Then the detective was out up to his hips, and Barba wrapped an arm around him, dragging him further until Carisi was able to draw out a leg and drop his foot to the floor. “I should’ve let Rollins stay and record this,” Barba muttered.

“Ow, cramp,” Carisi said, but he had his foot under himself and got his other leg out. He straightened, wincing as he flexed his foot, going up onto his toes for a moment.

“Okay?”

“Yeah—Ow, yeah, it’s fine.” He rolled his shoulders and tipped his head back with a grimace. “Thanks.”

Barba gestured toward the washer and dryer with an arm and raised his eyebrows.

Carisi looked chagrined. “This wasn’t how it was supposed—Oh, wait here.” He hurried out of the room.

Barba looked after him in disbelief. “ _Wait here_?” he repeated as Carisi disappeared into their bedroom. The detective returned within moments, carrying a big red bow. He peeled the paper off the bottom with a flourish and slapped the bow onto the top of the washing machine. He turned toward Barba with a sheepish but genuine smile.

“Happy birthday, I guess,” he said. “Sorry I ruined your party.”

“It was just dinner,” Barba said. “I’m sorry I kicked out our guests when you already cooked.”

“Oh, you know I can package up leftovers like a pro. I just wanted tonight to be fun.”

“I wasn’t really in the mood, anyway,” Barba admitted.

“Long day?” Carisi searched his face, looking for signs of stress. “If you want, you can take a shower and I’ll get dinner—”

“Sonny…you bought me a washer and dryer for my birthday…?”

“I…” Carisi hesitated, his forehead wrinkling. “Is that weird? I thought…I mean, I know how you hate having to take the—”

Barba grabbed the back of Carisi’s head and pulled him down for a kiss, silencing his concerns. Carisi lifted a hand to the side of Barba’s jaw, settling his other hand onto the ADA’s hip. After a moment, Barba drew a breath through his nose and shifted his lips away, resting his forehead against the other man’s. He closed his eyes. “What was that bullshit about you having to earn your keep?” he murmured.

“Just Rollins giving me a hard time,” Carisi said, sliding his hand from Barba’s jaw to his shoulder. “Called you my sugar daddy,” he added with a smile.

Barba snorted softly and drew back to meet Carisi’s eyes. “That’s ridiculous,” he said.

“I know. Obviously I’m the sweet and you’re the salty in this relationship,” Carisi said, his smile stretching into a grin that drew deep dimples into his cheeks and made his eyes twinkle.

Barba laughed. “Thank you for the washer and dryer, Sonny. It’s literally the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever gotten. But thank you more for being here.”

“Hey, I’ll be here ‘til you kick me out for doing stupid shit like, you know,” Carisi said, gesturing toward the dryer.

“Kick you out? Sonny, you made me two birthday cakes so I’d have one I didn’t have to share with our friends.”

“Yeah, well, I love you. And I know how you feel about cake.”

Barba reached past Carisi and pulled the bow from the washer. He pushed it against Carisi’s chest, sticking it to his shirt over his heart, and grinned at him.

Carisi smiled. “Hey, Raf? You know we’re gonna have to dirty the bedding so we can try out the new washer.”

“Hmm, well…I’m clearly not as flexible as you, but I’ll do my best to earn my keep,” Barba said with a grin.


End file.
